Being Anti Social

Its been six months since I walked away from Instagram, Twitter and WhatsApp. Now my world is incomparably smaller with a very few people in it. We connect through occassional phone calls, zoom sessions, emails, and through good old text messages. Though it has helped me to achieve certain peacefulness, some days I cannot help wondering if I am doing the right thing.

Am I being just selfish when shutting the world like this?

One of my closest friends had a baby during this time and I was able to connect with her only when her baby was two months old. Another one's father passed away and I came to know about it only recently. I know for a fact that I would have been more present in their lives if I didn't close all these easier ways of communication.

Aren't there people who would have loved to have some easier options to connect with us? Because everybody is struggling one way or the other.

When I took a break from all these social media, I was planning to go back to them eventually. It was just meant to be a break. Now that I have survived all these months without any of these apps, I don't see the point in going back. Though I would love to connect with some friends more often. But now it feels like a Herculean task to go back to these apps. It is like stage fright.

How do we find the right balance in maintaining relationships?

Is it okay to keep only those who you think are closer to you? What about the rest of the people? We all learn something from everyone right? In that case isn't it absurd to cut off all the ties except the closest ones?

I used to think that we would stop making new friends after a certain age. But it is such a false notion. I made some great friends in the past couple of years and now I cannot imagine how to live without them. Likewise we all need all sorts of people in our lives I believe - best friends, close friends, just friends, acquaintances et al.

I do miss the jokes I shared with my ex colleagues. And I do miss the occasional voice notes from my friend's kid and sometimes even the unwanted messages in the group chats.

I am still thinking about going back. But this "thinking" part only lasts for a few minutes and then again I feel like my peacefulness outweighs every pros of these social media.