Corporate Chronicles

I know, I know! The world doesn't need another tale from a whiny corporate slave. But people, there is no better place to vent than the Internet, especially when wrapped up in the comfort of anonymity.

The thought of writing down my corporate experience struck me at 3 AM today. It has nothing to do with the auspiciousness of the time, but everything to do with the frustration in my previous working day. I didn't even think I was that much frustrated when I went to sleep yesterday night. But the mind has its way of finding things to lose sleep.

I have almost ten years of experience in the IT sector. I am the only senior woman in my team and all my peers are men. But as an awkward introvert, I am struggling to build a rapport with the men in my team. Whenever I have to deal with them, either they will mansplain everything to me which makes me look and feel like an idiot in front of junior team members. When they are not doing that they will be showing their genuine concern about the workload I am handling because you know I am so fragile. I am tired of this babying treatment.

There is a part of me that doesn't care about the titles while the men are always after power. They can take all the power. For me, If I get the paycheck by the end of every month, I can be as happy as a kitten. But being at the receiving end of mansplaining every hour is not something that I can cope with. It is demeaning and demoralizing. I am not able to understand why it is difficult to get that I have a mind of my own and easy to assume that I don't know anything in a field I have worked for more than a decade. Once I pointed out an inconsistency in a simple thing to a male colleague and his ego was hurt. This just makes me wonder where is my ego. Instead of getting defensive, I become depressed.

I would like to point out that they are not bad men and they will be the best buddies if they are not working with me in the same team. If these men were downright offensive, I could have called them out. But this subtle toxicity is not something I can handle. It is keeping me away from growth. I had the joy of working with a manager who used to trust me with a truckload of responsibilities. The learning and growth I gained during those years are what keeps me going even now. The problem is that such people are so rare. And corporate life is difficult if you don't find a manager/mentor with whom you vibe.

The easiest solution to all these problems in corporate life is to move on to the next best opportunity. But I am one hundred per cent sure that wherever I go these problems will follow me. So in a way, I will be running into a new set of problems with the baggage of another set of unresolved problems from the previous organization. It is always going to be a rebounding relationship. So the cycle continues.