Difficult Conversations
Today I read a friend's post about her journey through human rights research. I have great admiration for people who pursue research in all fields. It is a difficult life. But I found one qualm in her post. She started off with saying how she is the kind of person who never followed the conventional career of a doctor or an engineer. I agree that her profession is not the conventional one and of course it is an extremely difficult one. But my problem lies in her not acknowledging the privilege she had to pursur such a profession. There are people who cannot wait till 30s to become financially independent. I have met a lot of people in my life, who would have pursued things that they were passionate about, instead of pursuing a professional degree if it has offered some sort of income in the early 20s. The point here is, acknowledging privilege is a big issue even for the "woke" ones among us.
Sometime back a friend mentioned about how students from poor families are applying for education loans, which they will never be able to repay. She was concerned because they didn't even have high marks in the relevant subjects. She, as someone who grew up in a well to do family, will never know that this education is the only ticket for those students to escape their poverty. What right do we have to judge someone for their choice of education especially when they are poor? We need better systems to uplift those in need. Instead we judge them and tell that they will never be able to repay the loan is the cruelest way. I have been at the receiving end of such a sermon when I applied for an education loan for my graduation because both of my parents are not educated and didn't have a steady job. So it is easier for me to empathize, but those who haven't gone through that stage will never know the pain.
Another important aspect is caste. I heard a friend dissing someone because he got the civil service selection because of the reservation and other deserving candidates with higher marks were not able to make it. Other candidates are supposed to be more "intelligent" than the lower caste one. I don't know when these people will understand equality vs equity.
One male friend recently asked me why women are still asking for equality. In his view, everything is equal now because you know women have the right to education, earning handsome salaries and even the marriages are "equal" now. How would I tell him that we got these basic rights just because somebody fought for us and when we know that we are nowhere near in eradicating the discrimination, why should we stop now?
I haven't yet found an efficient way to have such difficult conversations. Sometimes I feel how we will convince such people about the state of the world if they are not even ready to open their eyes and see everything with a fresh eye.
