Letting love go

Yesterday I saw my stalker kitten after weeks. I have been hiding from her and that meant being confined to my 1bhk closet. She just meowed and looked at me with questioning eyes.

Today I saw her again. She followed me, walked between my legs and was begging me to pet her. I didn't pay attention or pretended not to pay attention. The dogs are out there in the premises waiting for her. I don't want her to get hurt because of me. And I, who is searching for a home, cannot offer her one. And I, who requires substantial support and have none, cannot adopt her. And I, who is unemployed and orphaned, cannot take care of her.

Where will I bury all this grief? The yearning for love never stops and yet I cannot accept it from the place it flows freely. Why everything becomes too much? I wish there was somebody to hold me and her together and say that they would take care of us. We want somebody to take care of us, love us and accept us. Is it going to happen in this lifetime? My starved soul had to let go of the final drops of love lest the love might get hurt. Oh God!