Perceptions

When the lockdown started in March 2020, so many acquaintances reached out to me asking about my well being. They were worried that how a person like me, who is always on the move, is handling the feeling of being stuck at home. Even though I was touched by their care, I started wondering about the perceptions I leave behind.

I do love traveling. But I am also a person who loves being at home doing nothing. It is difficult to see that second aspect in my character unless you know me intimately. It is easy for me to share the travel photos tagging wanderlust in instagram and shouting to the world that this is me. But the days when I sit at home and stare at the wall just go unannounced and uncelebrated. If you ask me, both of these activities are part of the "real me" and one is not superior to the other. Both gave me joy and peace of mind needed at that time. But the second aspect requires vulnerability and great courage. How many of us can show that side of us without the fear of being judged?

Then there were these instances when people called me "poor thing". I am a very soft spoken person who always have a lost look in the face. But those who has a fair dose of my real self know that I am anything but "poor thing". It is not that I pretend to be mellow. That aspect really come from a lack of self confidence rather than pretension. I have opinions of my own, but it is quite unlikely to see me voicing those opinions with the people I barely know. Especially in a work place, this creates a lot of misconceptions. Some may find me quite rude and others find me not assertive enough. It's something that I am working upon. But I am not sure if I ever will reach a stage in balancing these traits.

Do the perception we create is solely our responsibility?