Please Stop The Music For Now
Don't hate me! But I have become a non musical person.
I cannot remember when I turned into that person who never reach out to music in times of distress. I believe it to be an after effect of one of the break ups years ago.
I grew up listening to soulful music - from old hindi songs to the Malayalam melodies of 80s and 90s. There were Sunday Rangoli, Wednesday Chitrahar and then the years when we slowly moved to the juke box channels. It was important for me to know the lyricist, music directors, play back singers. It was never about the famous actors who give life to the songs.And I rarely followed the trendy songs of my generation.
In college I found friends who had similar taste as mine. There were many sessions of bad singing whenever we got free time. In those early days of mobile phones with music, I used to pester my roommate for her phone so that I could listen to music. When I got a phone of my own, I remember going to the internet cafe to download all my favorite songs. I was thrilled and days and night were spent in the company of my favorite singers.
There was even a brief phase when I used to enjoy hard rock. My friends were shocked by the change in me. Fortunately that phase didn't last longer. I moved back to the familiar melancholic songs that comforted me.
I am not sure when I completely stopped chasing music. The falling apart was gradual I believe. In an era of so many streaming services, I never take my phone to listen to music. I tried to rekindle the love my love for music by buying a Bluetooth speaker last year. One week after that purchase, the world went into lockdown. Even reading books was difficult then. So getting back to old love was not even considered.
An year has gone! When somebody else is playing music at home, I do listen and may be even hum once in a while. But that's it. There is no place for music in my life now. Bringing back music was last year's resolution, which never got fulfilled. I am not even going to try that in this year. May be some things are never meant to be and I am learning to accept that.
