Psychiatric Ward
Typical firstborn weakling,
First line of my psychiatric case history!
For someone who has been called strong all throughout life, this was an insult.
It shattered me and I wanted to become one with the earth.
When you grow up on your own
Without any sort of nurturing
And you only have yourself to rely on
You end up believing you are strong and you don't need anyone.
Even those in your life see you like that.
Little did we know that it's the connectedness that matters
And in the world of psychiatry, you are pathologised for your differences
They don't see your life as an act of survival
They only want to put a label on you and your personality
A lifetime of barely making to the next day,
Taking responsibility for adults who could have done better,
Never having dreams or ambitions, survival is more than one could manage
You hang on by a delicate thread which could be broken any day
Indeed, it's a curse no one has to go through.
A weakling nonetheless
So the next time the psychiatrist passed the case history to me carelessly,
I simply carried it,not even taking a peek!
It didn't matter to me what they thought.
They barely see me as a human
They don't care if I am dead or alive
They care only about writing a prescription
By half listening to my half remembered, unprocessed emotions
What a strange place to heal oneself??
