Ray of Sunshine

For most of my friends, working life started in the corporate sector which had enough people of the same age group. Nobody ever mentioned not belonging to that space. It was like an extended college life for the majority. In my case working life started in the dusty and dingy corner of a government office and my colleagues were people who didn't get a train from the previous century. Each one was a specimen. I was so repulsed by their attitude and conversations. The way they thought about themselves because you know a government job is the pinnacle of success and showed no dedication or honesty to the so-called job they were doing made me sick to the stomach. One of my greatest fear during that time was spending my entire life in such a space and becoming the replica of those people. As days passed I limited my interaction to the bare minimum and withdrew to my shell.

There were a couple of senior advocates in that office and they had a separate space from the rest of the staff. Our interactions with them were limited to pleasantries. One day, the senior lady among them decided to have lunch with us. Initially, I was hesitant to talk. But she had a warmth and an easy way of connecting with people that I haven't seen in many. We kept talking even after lunch and in her I found the light to guide me through that dark phase of my life.

She is the one who introduced me to the books that showed me that a more relatable world exists and I don't have to be physically transported to enjoy that place. Those books taught me that my surroundings and the people I interact with can be as dull and depressing as they can be, but I can always find comfort and adventure in the books I choose. She is the one who introduced me to Kahlil Gibran and Kazantzakis for which I am forever grateful.

Our conversations were endless. There were no topics that we left untouched. I never thought that I could connect so well with someone who is of my mother's generation. Even though she didn't understand many of the things I said, there was zero judgement from her. It is a quality that I try to instil in myself too. In a world where many were trying to fix me into their boxes, I was comforted by her open embrace of my being. She told me about her brief stint in Russia and I was all wide-eyed with wonder. It is her stories that made me wish for a life in a strange land.

Life taught me that there are not many people with whom we could connect at a soul level. And some people understand us without even knowing our full story. They don't need any explanation from us and we don't have to beg for acceptance of us and our stories. She was that person to me. She made me want to be that person for someone else, too. If I could have half the grace, wisdom and kindness of her when I get older, I would die as a content woman.

It is still my greatest regret that I didn't make an effort to keep her in my life. I was not past my insecurities then. I hope she is doing well wherever she is.