Reflecting on Gender Neutrality

Yesterday I came across a post by a woman who wrote about how there is a lesser number of women when one moves up the ladder in their career. This is something that I can relate to and have missed the mentorship and camaraderie that I used to enjoy during the first half of my career. However, I noticed that many women don't share the same views and some were even asking the writer to be 'gender neutral' in-office interactions and that's the way to progress. This made me wonder if I am doing something wrong. I looked back to a decade long career and wondered what exactly is "gender-neutral interactions"?

Before men come running to me to explain what is gender-neutral, let me put a disclaimer. It is not that I have no clue about the gender-neutral movement. My problem with the movement lies in the fact that our social structure will not ever let me forget that I am a woman or any marginalized gender for that matter, and will always try to fit me into a mould that they built for us. So why it is upon the marginalized people to be gender-neutral while the others can treat us as they wish. One can argue that it is for our progress and we have to bend the systems to make it work for us. If we keep on doing that, is there any end to it? Aren't we making things difficult for the next generation?

I don't know if anyone can be gender-neutral in their Interactions. I know I cannot. In a utopian world, yes. But our world is anything but utopian. And gender is perceived through a lifetime of conditioning. It is not something that we can shed off like a snake's skin. We learn, unlearn and it is a lifelong process. Anybody who says they can be gender-neutral is delusional from my perspective.

The way to progress, in my opinion, is to be aware and respectful of the differences. Believing that differences do not exist is living blindfolded. When we accept people despite the differences in the way they are perceived in society, we become a truly inclusive society. It is not an easy task. Despite all the good intentions, we all will have our blindspots. Our job is to be aware, reflect, learn and unlearn and progress towards a better society.