The Long and Winding Roads

Photo by Priyanka

Almost a month ago I had this conversation with a friend. We were talking about the years after college. Both of us had some miserable years post college without a job. But that day when we were talking, I said something that even surprised myself. I told her that those difficult years were necessary and without that I would have been a superficial person. In hindsight every difficult time is an opportunity to learn and to better ourselves. We all feel the same at some point in our lives. But the use of "superficiality" was something that came of as a surprise.

It is not that my life is drastically different from anyone who is part of the rat race. So what does it mean when I say I am not superficial now? I believe when we are in our early adulthood, there is a tendency to be part of the group rather than choosing to stand alone. We seek validation from our peers and elders, and even if we have dreamed of a different life from them it is not easy to stand up for ourselves. In a way we are in the process of figuring out who we are, but that huge pressure to be part of the crowd is on us. Many of us get lost in that place.

For me, the first two years after college were spent in a place where nobody was in my age group. It was difficult and there were days when I thought that I was going to be a mute for my entire life. But I ended up making new connections out side of my comfort zone and age group, who provided a guiding light as books and long emails. When I look back, these people kept me sane and helped me take decisions by putting myself first. Others termed it as selfishness and for the first time in my life I didn't care what others thought. It was a big learning that guided me in the following years.

When we go deep within ourselves, instead of follwing the already laiden path, we end up going through a long and winding road. The journey might not be all that pleasant. But we will reach the destination no matter what, and I am sure some views will be spectacular during that journey even when we feel like we are lost.